Most of us will, at some time, come across situations in life that provoke anger. Anger is an emotional response not a rational one and can interfere with our reasoning powers. It can damage all aspects of our life; work, friendships, health, relationships and peace of mind (mental health). Suppressing or ignoring the things that make you feel anger can also lead to stress and to symptoms such as headaches and digestive problems.
Don’t let anger build up, deal with it by noticing when something makes you feel angry, even if it’s a small thing. Don’t ignore how something makes you feel.
Anger is an emotional response not a rational one and can damage all aspects of our life – work, friendships, health, relationships and peace of mind. Suppressing anger or ignoring it can also lead to stress and to physical symptoms such as headaches and digestive problems. Most of us will at some time come across situations in life that provoke anger – the answer is to take responsibility for our own feelings, actions and behaviour and learn to respond rather than to react to the people or events that we feel have triggered our anger.
Anger interferes with our reasoning powers. Don’t let it build up until you have a violent outburst which is destructive. It is better to deal with anger in a constructive way. Here’s how….
- Recognise the signals in your body that warn you that you are getting angry, perhaps changes in your breathing, clenched fists, shouting or a burning feeling in your chest etc.
- Learn to identify your triggers; the things that make you angry – what is it that triggers your anger? (is it when someone swears at you, or looks at you funny or ignores you)
- Learn new ways to respond to these triggers. Ask yourself – who is in control; does the anger control you or can you be in charge?
- Talk about it with someone you trust. Talking helps you to organise your thoughts and relieve stress and help you recognise your triggers.
- If you can recognise your triggers and respond rather than react, then you are taking responsibility for your emotions and you are in charge.
- Don’t become the victim of the triggers that set off your temper, remember that you have choices when confronted with a problem. You just have to give yourself a chance to think them through before you react.
- Develop better communication and listening skills. Be open to other people’s needs and points of view.
- Learn to express yourself calmly and keep cool even when the other person is angry. Remember you have a right to feel heard as well.
- Learn strategies for keeping calm: Strategies are ways to defuse the trigger such as taking time out in an argument. You may want to imagine that you are part of special forces called in to defuse an anger bomb or something like that to help you take time out before you allow it to explode.
Use this meditation to help you find your calm space
Very helpful counselling service, it’s nice to be able to have someone to talk to at Youthline and someone you can trust